Friday, March 20, 2009

+ non sequitur +

today is scattered.

- - -

the majority of us live somewhere between where we’re going and where we were, without ever Being in the middle, which is here.

- - -

last night, i came home to a post-it note on my backdoor. it was from my mom, which was odd enough, and this is what it read:

"hi lauren, i had a doctor's appointment at osu med center so i thought i would stop by. i miss my lauren and i wish i knew how to love her. mom"

this is not to rant about my mom. i won't give any background other than i rarely speak to my parents and they live half an hour from me. they have disowned me as their daughter in the name of God for my passion to live a greater Love than what Right and Wrong allow. that explanation leaves much to be desired; if you don't know and want to, just ask.

this morning as i left for work, it struck me in reassurance that the christianity i have left has failed them. after 47 years of following the greatest Lover that has ever existed, and having the opportunity to be lavishly loved by Him, my mother still does not know how to love an individual (much less her daughter - even raw science is in her favor). i will humbly yet confidently make the assertion that the christianity she lives has failed her.

my heart breaks for her.

i take this as a challenge. to love her as God loves her.

- - -

Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn't God
If he fits inside our heads

Is your love really love?
Is my love really love?
I think our love isn't love
Unless it's love to the end

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