+ baby. +

My sister recently posted these of us. Oh, little babies. I didn't realize how much of the same girl I am. I miss the south, and I miss the simplicity of quietness and observing the world move. I wish I was still three years old, and could get away with speaking barely at all and listening to everything. I have little to say, and I feel consistently forced to say more than what I have in my mind and my mouth.

Love simply, speak softly, believe passionately, give sacrificially, move slowly, watch constantly.

Childhood, you were an invaluable gift to me.

+ It's my birthday! +

It's my birthday!

I have so many thoughts and I'm high as a potato on caffeine so this is going to be difficult to bring down to the ground.

First off - infinite thanks, gratitude, appreciation and crazy love for all the incredible people in my life that have been just catapulting their excitement and love to me since before I even woke up today. I literally do not have half the words to communicate how much all of you mean to me and how beyond blessed I am. I have been given more encouragement and more community than I could have ever dreamed of. God is so good. I wish I could give everyone a supermassive hug and take everyone out to dinner, just for being my friend. I hesitate to mention certain people for fear of leaving others out on accident - but there are so many of you who have gotten me through this past year, sharpened me, taught me, motivated me, inspired me, loved me, cried with me, dreamed with me, explored with me, and prayed with me. I am obligated to thank as many of you personally and publically for enriching my life & making it into something SO full I can barely keep up. Here goes!

I'm going to start with Jamie because she just tweeted at me- hah! Jamie, you are one of the most joyful women I know - you work hard, you just ooze out love and care, and your packages and letters have always come to me at the perfect time. You've made my days so much better and I look up to you and hope that I will accomplish just as much as you do & give as generously as you do when I am a wife and mother. Oh, and your emails lighten my heart. Love.

Kelly M., I consider you a sister. I don't know how or why we've stayed as close and I pray every day that I am as good of a friend to you as you are to me. I love you and can't wait to come see you again in Charlotte. You have been a saving grace to me in ways you probably don't know. God used you to bring me back to him and remind me of the type of girl I want to be, right when I needed it. I love watching you fight to love Jesus more and love those around you and your constant desire to do and be better. You are beautiful.

Katie H. - Oh man, I have so many sisters! God gave you to me as a big sister just when I needed one, and your creativity and enthusiasm puts sparkles into all my days! Hahaha. Thank you for being around constantly and letting me pour out my heart to you at any moment. You are insanely talented & your heart is so real. I love it.

Paige - I'm knocking out all the sisters. You are my baby sister and one of the most special people in my life. You already know that you are one of the funniest people alive and your heart is exponentially bigger than your body will ever be. I cannot wait to see what happens with your life. You inspire me with your strength, your love for God, and your wisdom. I wish I could give you the world. You are one of the most beautiful people God has ever made.

Nate - Living life has changed drastically since you entering it and I'm so grateful for it. Thank you for being a good man and working your ass off and bringing me alongside you. Talking with you every day is a gift in and of itself. I believe we have created more jokes than any two people in the history of the world. Blah blah blah. :)

Josh H - Yo Digeratii! Birthday twin! You rock my world by making me laugh uncontrollably nearly every day and I'm stoked to get to know you more over the next year. Happy birthday to you too, today!

Craig - I count you as my brother and one of my closest friends. I love our freak outs, our bff talks, your crazy motivation for life in general and how faithful you are to be there for me and listen to my rants. I am so glad you re-appeared in my life after years of us both getting our crap together (more or less) and I know that somewhere in the next couple years, a mindblowingly awesome trip will happen together. And I am not talking about drugs, I'm talking about Australia or something. Hahaha. Never doubt your worth, how much you are loved, or how much much better you make my life just by being in it. I love you.

Jesse K - Jesse, I love you. I am so thankful that you've been in my life since I was 10 or 11 years old. No matter what city each of us is in at the time, you remind me of all the good parts of home and none of the bad. I admire your mind. I admire your talents. I would do anything for you and I hope you know that, always. A part of my heart is yours and always will be. I miss our Milo adventures and your hugs. Love you forever.

Lauren S - Did you know that you are the picture of unconditional love? You have been an incredible friend for me and stuck it out when I go MIA for weeks at a time. The mail you send me is incredible and I save every single bit of it. I love you so much & hope we get closer this year. There have been two letters sitting on my desk for a month, waiting for the post office hours to align with my not-at-work hours. I love you.

Cheryl - You kick ass. You've added so many laughs to all my days and let me tell you probably the most absurd and unsharable parts of my life. I'm so glad that you exist and that we are on the same level with our craziness. You just make me so happy. And thank you for introducing me to Jen. Hahahaha

J Money & Josh - I AM SO EXCITED FOR 2011. I already have a solid love for both of you and I'm so stoked to see all the awesome things that come from working with you guys. Thank you both for being phenomenal people. Hugs hugs hugs.

Kansas - I feel like I'm a broken record because I just told you this, but you're so solid and I'm so thankful for it. Thanks for being around for me and being a voice uninfluenced by hormones, hahaha. I appreciate every single time you offer to help me or listen to me. I don't take it for granted.

David - I'm sad you're on tour and I don't get to see you for awhile. :( Big hang outs when you get back. Thank you for fighting in my behalf, loving on me, praying for and with me, inspiring me to be the woman I need to be, and cutting through all the bullshit to help me find who God is and what he wants for me. You are blessed, and I'm blessed through you.

To all the Crimson boys: I love and miss you. Saud, you inject so much joy into my life and I'm down with you being my little brother forever. Josh, I admire your heart. Yates, Nick, Dan - hugs to all of you. Come back alive, please. ♥

Christen - GOOD GRIEF I am so glad I met you. You are an incredible woman and I swear everytime I see you, you just soak me in Jesus & super joy. Thank you for your hugs, your hospitality, and your crazy gifts through the Spirit. You've helped heal me from so much and I cannot express how thankful I am for you. Thank you for welcoming me into your life so quickly and so warmly. Love love and more love.

Patrick - Man, I just love how consistently you cheer me up via Twitter and how encouraging you've been to me throughout the last year. You have such a great heart and you've stuck around and made some of my really awful days way better and my good days even greater. Thank you.

Johnny - I've thanked you a hundred times for your encouraging texts that I get all hours of the day and night. You've kept my chin up during some pretty bad days. Thank you for caring so much and for keeping tabs on me.

Kelly Tonsetic - Thank you for having a relationship with me where half the time I've been bawling my eyes out. I know God better because I know you, and your love is contagious. Everytime I see you I am surprised by how beautiful you are & how joy and a clean love just radiates from you. You should be proud of the woman that you are. The man who gets you will not deserve you.

Sandy S. - Woman, I love you. Your hugs make my weeks bearable and you are so faithful to be a crazy caring friend. Thank you for confiding in me, and letting me confide in you. Your on-a-whim prayers rock my world. I love you.

Inky - Crazy girl, you've saved my ass so many times and made my life so much more fun. I wish I was close to you so I could be a better friend - but I'm coming to Nashville in January! And oh, that will be too much fun. Your texts make my day happier & I am so jealous of your energy and love for life. I admire you for how much you've been through. You're resilient, I hope you know that.

Jessica T. - There aren't words to communicate what I want. I have more love and empathy for you than you will ever know. My heart has broken with yours over this past year and I am going to tell you again how proud I am of you for remaining the woman that you are despite everything else life has handed to you. You are selfless; know that, believe that. I have been blessed by you so much and hope to never, ever lose touch. I love you.

Krista L - Ooo I love you. I know I just told you this, but you are transparent in your love and so genuine in everything you say. You are a beautiful woman & God dropping you into my life was a gift. You are so talented and I am so proud of how hard you work. You inspire me. Your entire life is just pretty and sweet. I look up to you. I am excited to see you tonight.

Bria S. & Laura L: I don't know why I just grouped you two together in my head but it's probably because you both have equal amounts of love, talent and joy. You both know what you've been through and I count myself blessed to have seen the insides of your lives, if only for a bit. You are both proof that women are beautiful in their strength and have a capacity for expressing care & support for others even when you are struggling yourselves. I cannot wait to get to know you both better. Thank you for being friends to me. Dammit, words aren't good enough - hugs to both of you and I wish I could take you both out for dessert.

Tyler - I am so proud of you. You have one of the sweetest hearts in the world and it just makes me beyond happy to see how hard you strive to love everyone around you and love God. You're a good son, a good brother and a good friend.

Phil & Julie Shomo - Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being faithful to do what God has called you to do. Your faithfulness helped bring me out of one of the worst seasons of my life, and you saved me from a lot of pain and bitterness. Julie, I cannot thank you enough for the hours you've spent talking with and praying for me. Your wisdom and your love is invaluable and I will never forget you pulling me aside to tell me that you believe in me. You have helped lay a foundation in my heart that I cannot put a price on. Thank you.

To my lovely girls: Jessica, Lydia & Bahareh. Life is a rollercoaster and thank you, thank you, thank you for staying on board through thick and thin. You are some of the most beautiful women I've ever come across in my life and I am so glad I can call you mine and be included in a group of so much heart, passion, talent & beauty. I cannot even imagine what our lives will look like when we are 25, 30, and so on - I am SO excited. I love you.

To my real sister, Courtney, and my real brother, Kevin: We've been through a lot, yeah? Thank you both for being proof that there is love that supercedes all the fights, pain, struggles, disagreements and hardships of life. I love you both more than anyone else on this earth. I don't know how to put this into words too well, but when we are together and laughing over years' worth of inside jokes, I am the happiest woman. I get to see sides of you that no one else sees and I LOVE YOU for that. I love that I can see the heart of both of you apart from all else. Both of you are incredible people. I cannot WAIT to see where all of us go with our lives and I will be here for both of you, no matter what. I'm sorry for all the times I haven't been the sister I should have, and I'm thankful for the unconditional love you've shown me. You guys keep me on my toes. :) I love you. P.S. You guys are both super-pros at giving hugs & expressing insane amounts of joy. You rock. :P

- - -

I will be adding to this throughout the day, but back to work I go!

My life changed last night at midnight because of this, and I can't wait to share with all of you what it means and how this affects me. I have so much to say, but it will have to come later. Love times a thousand.

+ october re-cap +

October was killer. November will be a different kind of killer. A much better one.

Excited for the death of the former and the arrival of the latter.

However, I'm not going to talk about why October sucked. Paige Baker knows all these reasons, and I am excited as hell for a phenomenal month to make up for it. Instead, I'm going to recap some of October's best moments. And damn. I just realized there are a lot.

- - -

Best photos:


[ colin + andrea's engagement shoot ]

[ lyd, theresa, bahareh + myself in chicago ]

[more coming when I get home]

- - -
Best Of Tumblr:








- - -

Best quotations:

A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved. And that perhaps, is what makes him different from others. - Leo Rosten

The praise of the unlettered by those who are highly educated is one of the primary themes of ‘elitist’ literature. But, the importance of the praise given the unsolitary, richly passionate life is that it simultaneously reflects the value of reflective life. - Richard Rodriguez, The Achievement of Desire

Because education seeks to impart past knowledge, when you are trying to create a breakthrough, you have to create new knowledge, and there is no way to teach that. - Peter Thiel

What must you face? What fears haunt you? What failures have marked you? What darkness has consumed you and stolen from you, robbed you, sucked out of your soul the dream God created you to flesh out? Maybe there’s a dream buried deep inside your soul and God is waiting to reconstruct it, to put the bones back together. If he commands you to act and you trust him, you will see all of creation move in concert to accomplish in you what you were created to do. - Katie Holley-ish

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. - Mother Teresa

- - -

Best realizations/insights, expressed via my Twitter:

You are a brand. Treat yourself as such. Ground your product, visualize your identity, network your life. Be open to growth.

Your world is what you make it, so make it a world in which you want to live.

Stress is a decision. Decide to not be stressed, because you cannot change what is, and you cannot create time.

We cannot feel what is real when we are asleep.

Withhold your truth until you can speak it in love, lest you embitter what is sweet.

I will never apologize for knowing what I want and what I don't.

Don't ever compare yourself to someone else. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Never let someone else's perception of you keep you from living fully and joyfully. Love always.

Grace is not logical, rational, or fair. And that is why it fixes problems that you cannot.

What incredible people we would be if we talked to God as much as we talked about him.

- - -

Best things on the Internet:

Visual mapping of emotions, via WeFeelFine

Finger-painting with Sound, via YouTube

Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex, via OkCupid

Love Bomb Update, via yours truly

"The Initiated Woman" via Danielle LaPorte

"You just broke your child." A must read. Via Single Dad Laughing

Stats say social media is increasing face-to-face time, via Mashable

"Brainwash", via Seth Godin

TeuxDeux browser + iPhone app to-do list, via TeuxDeux. Changed my life.

- - -

Summary: It was a hard month, but doesn't pruning spawn growth? I learned more about myself in the last 31 days than I have in a long time.

- - -

Crooked mouths, quiet down;
let your fists come undone.
Miscarried love will be reborn.
The war that we're fighting has already been won.

+ love & 100 strangers project + platonic love + greater things +

I picked my Love + 100 Strangers Project back up this weekend! It's been too long, and I want to finish it so badly. For those of you who don't know what it is, I have been approaching strangers all across Columbus and asking their definition of love. I take their photo, and ask their first name and age. It's amazing what you can tell about a person by their definition of love.


"Love is caring so much about someone."
Jaylen. Age 6.

- - -

Platonic cross-sex relationships. Can they happen? This is so fascinating. A woman named Juliet writes her experience with having a best friend of the opposite sex, and gives some surprising and enlightening statistics on cross-sex relationships over the last century. Her best friend, Jeff, then writes his response; “his side” of the story. I’ve been on the front lines of this change in cultural views of cross-sex relationships and finally am justified in many of my best friend, brother-sister relationships that my family and outsiders have consistently challenged and questioned. Awesome.

- - -

This morning I got this via text from darling Katie Holley. It completely turned my day around.

"What must you face? What fears haunt you? What failures have marked you? What darkness has consumed you and stolen from you, robbed you, sucked out of your soul the dream God created you to flesh out? Maybe there’s a dream buried deep inside your soul and God is waiting to reconstruct it, to put the bones back together. If he commands you to act and you trust him, you will see all of creation move in concert to accomplish in you what you were created to do."

Girl, I love you.

+ gifts: intimate, all-consumed, enraptured. +

Before I get into this post that accidentally turned into a book, look at these photos! As a little girl, I was captivated with water, and would sit in the tub for hours splashing, pouring and watching it. Oh love love love.




In my minds eye, I can see "a perfect relationship." Not in terms of place, time, success, looks, or circumstance - but emotions, joy, trust, honesty and openness. Oneness. Thanks to hundreds of movies, we all have the image of a woman running at a man, full-speed, and throwing herself into his arms - ecstatic and all-consumed with the heart that is before her. Nothing else in her line of sight. Joy painted across her face. It's almost a renewed form of innocence. Love does that.

Anyway, I was thinking about these things as I drove home late last night after hearing a teaching on marriage and oneness at JHouse (such perfect timing for me, somehow - even though I'm as single as it gets) - bouncing images off the walls of my mind. I was a mess when I had showed up at JHouse and Kelly was a doll and spent the first chunk of the service praying and crying with me in an empty hallway.

Forgive me as I piece these thoughts together poorly.

Months ago, someone gave me an image of God offering me a wedding band - he is my husband, my faithful. The whole God is my husband/boyfriend thing has always really irritated me, by the way. It wasn't til I switched out the traditional word for what that relationship WAS to what it MEANT - what I needed and wanted in that relationship - my faithful, my rock, supporter, encourager, helper, provider, lover, companion and confidante - that I realized that yes, this is who God is for me. It gets harder still when we're also told he is our Father, and then that Jesus sticks closer than a brother - a strange sort of family that clearly wouldn't work in human terms. But remove the limitations of relationships defined on earth, and think about what your heart desires. That one heart to cleave to, run to, fall back on, love on and be loved by, trust wholly, to teach you, to provide for you, to listen to you, to lead you, to sit with you, and forever on. The point is that God more than fills that unrelenting need in all ways, and in ways we can't understand.

Anyway, I've accepted that he is the other half in this all-encompassing relationship for me, but in no way has it matched up with that first "perfect, beautiful relationship" I described at the beginning of this post. Some days I've felt let down. Disappointed. On bad days I beg him to show me where that relationship is. Eventually, I think we all get to the place where we decide it's not worth it. If being in a relationship with God is just for the sake of being in one, and having that relationship spot filled, then meh. We could just do without. I could always come back. Oh, that line. (Would we ever want to leave someone that fits that 'perfect relationship' description? Would we ever want to leave when we are crazy-in-love? Food for thought.)

As I was thinking through what Kelly had prayed over me and what we had both heard from God, I got stuck trying to complete this image of God being one who watched over my heart at every minute of the day, and showed up with gifts for me just when he knew I needed them. Why does this not satisfy? Why do I not see the gifts as real gifts? Why do I swallow them down as either "I deserve this," and give him no thanks, or "I don't deserve this, let me work harder," again, with no true thanks. I kept fighting through to try to mesh the image of God's love and provision with my 'perfect relationship' image, and finally I found yet another wall my heart had still standing. It has no name, and a cause unique to no one. It's what develops as a result of flawed relationships with the people in our lives that give to us, added onto the fact that we ourselves have flawed hearts and minds.

This wall - more like chains, or a mask - has kept me from being myself with God when he gives to me. It's kept me from being a woman in love. This mask has kept me from understanding why gifts are given to me and what my response should be, making them not gifts at all. (Isn't that just how the deceiver works? Taking something beautiful and making it into something that it's not?) One of the greatest lies we can ever believe about God is that he doesn't really give gifts.

Gift: something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone; something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned.

Let me put it this way. When a man brings a gift to his beautiful woman that he knows she will love - what is his greatest reward in giving it to her? What does he expect in return? He expects no *thing* in return - this is what defines it as a GIFT. But it is given with a hope - a hope of joy, ecstasy, love, thankfulness, and total satisfaction with him. The hope of that 'perfect relationship' manifesting itself in all of its glory. I finally meshed the images together.

When God gives me a gift, he desires nothing from me - but that I throw myself into his arms and tell him a dozen times over how much I love it, how happy it makes me, how much I love him, and how treasured and loved I feel.

Any man reading this, I am sure, will agree with me. That when he brings his girl any gift, there is no greater reward than to see her eyes light up and be completely enraptured with what he gave, and her repeated thanks - attested by the joy on her face. That it pales in comparison to her giving an expected thank you and offering to do something for him tomorrow in return. Yes, men?

Women (and men), if you feel you don't deserve a gift, know that you've already forgotten what a gift is. Begin to learn to be crazy in love with Him. Be ecstatic when you receive your gifts. Because that is why they are given to you.

I hope this made sense.

This is my prayer - that we learn to be the woman enraptured with our gifts. That we learn to abandon the lie that tells us we have to make up for and repay our gifts, and by doing so, disappoint the giver and devalue the gift. Because don't you know that the gift is given because he wants to watch us be delighted?

I have no theological evidence to support this, but I would humbly submit that perhaps the more often we respond to our gifts in this way, the more he will love to give to us. <3>

- - -

You will be made rich in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion,
and through us your generosity
will result in thanksgiving to God.
2 Corinthians 9:11

If you, then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts
to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:10

+ make the heart swell +

Sometimes I think I need someone in my life to take photos of me so that I can remind myself I know how to dress. I am horrible at seeing myself objectively. Hah.

I have a binge-relationship with Tumblr. I've abandoned it lately, and today I remedied that. Over-remedied.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is my mind and my Tumblr is my heart. Or perhaps this blog is my left brain and my Tumblr is my right.

Anyway. Things I love today.

+ mis·cel·la·ny /ˈmisəˌlānē/ +

1. I loved this post about the world being God's art gallery with free admission. I will be visiting it frequently this weekend.

2. I have an eye doctor appointment today at 1:45pm and am terrified of eye drops, so. Not looking forward to that too much.

3. We are dropping a Love Bomb on the entire Chicago Fire Department! Go do it!

4. Yesterday, I got a package full of presents from Jamie. I got a sweet note, an adorable pin cushion & pin cushion ring, a notepad, and a vintage pack of needles (two, actually). I adore little presents - they mean the world to me and keep me going. Jamie, you're amazing and I love you!

5. I have a new set of photos up from the skatepark in Ashville, Ohio. I've gone the last 2 weeks to hang out with everyone and pray with them, and I absolutely loved snapping some photos of the kids that showed up.

6. I keep forgetting I have a shop. I should add more photos/drawings/paintings and take it more seriously.

7. I wish I was more faithful with art journaling, like Michelle, and these two moleskine tumblrs.

+ love bomb for rachel +

Hey everyone. :)

Most of you know that I run a little organization/deal thing called Love Bomb. It's really simple. Every Thursday the entire team comes together to "drop a love bomb" on one blogger who really needs encouragement. Really really really needs encouragement.

Today's Love Bomb mission is a 17 year old girl named Rachel. I'd love for all of you to help participate in this - it only takes 5 minutes, and it drastically changes someone's entire life.

Rachel lost her dad and ever since has dealt with eating disorders, and is struggling through life without him. Her mom avoids serious conversations with her and she is afraid to get help. She's in counseling, which is wonderful - but we all know how irreplaceable personal words of encouragement are.

In one of her recent posts, she bullet-pointed a list of things she had to show for nearly being 18:

- I drink too much
- I have social anxiety
- I'm failing school
- I'm ugly
- I'm fat
- I can't even get the courage to meet my own sister
- I lack the energy to even fake happiness
- I have recurring thoughts of self-harm
- I keep relapsing into "disordered eating behaviours"

In her last post, the one we'll be commenting on, she ends with,

"What I need is some inspiration. I need someone I admire to tell me every thing's going to be alright. That they believe in me. That I'm not the fat failure I think I am. - unfortunately I can't see that happening any time before it's too late, if it's not already too late."

Alright guys. We ARE Rachel's inspiration, encouragement, love, and support. It's time to tell her how beautiful and valuable she is. I want to blow her away.

To comment on her blog, go here: http://whatyouneverknewaboutme.blogspot.com/2010/08/get-motivated.html

- - -

If you want to do this with me every Thursday, put your name and email address here:

+ good friends, & jessica. +

I am so thankful for my girl friends. So incredibly thankful. They are my most valuable possessions and I do not take them for granted. This is Jessica - she's in town from Chicago for Lydia's birthday and some other things. This weekend has been a fantastic re-union for all of us. Yesterday Jessica and I did a little shopping in the Short North for my littlest brother's birthday and had some incredible conversations. I am always amazed by the weight and honesty every time we talk.

Girls - you know who you are and I love you to death.

Anyway, here is Jessica. I made her sit in a chair by the dumpster behind my apartment and snapped some photos. The full set is here. Isn't she gorgeous?










But your dead will live;
their bodies will rise.
You who dwell in the dust,
wake up and shout for joy.
Your dew is like the dew of the morning;
the earth will give birth to her dead.
{Isaiah 26:19}

+ interplanetary & marine inspiration +

lift up your eyes and look
to the heavens
who created all these?
he who brings out the stars one by one
and calls them each
by name.
because of his great power and strength
not one of them
is missing.
is. 40.26

*note - not all space photos are interplanetary.

+ an artist going blind, and a challenge. +

Yesterday we dropped a Love Bomb on Laura. She is an art journalism student and an oil painter, and she is slowly going blind. I am still choked up about this. Maybe it's that she's dealing with my greatest fear, maybe that she's an art student like me, maybe it's simply that she's an absolutely gorgeous young woman losing her ability to see beautiful things. Maybe I'm still stumbling over her gracious humility in having to take the bus, and shower with her eyes closed.

Regardless, reading Laura's blog yesterday reminded me how temporary this world is, and called me out on the unworthy weight I give to what I see.

Laura, this is a thank you for being faithful. You get it. You understand the world, your Maker, your purpose. It takes most of us a lifetime to come to this place, and I would argue that you see things more clearly than we do.

- - -

To the rest of you, the world needs you. I have a challenge. Who are you leading? Who is behind you? Who has acted out this week because you challenged them? There are hundreds of thousands more people like Laura that are in desperate need of encouragement and the strength of a community behind them.

Can you say you're doing your part?

Today, I ask you to find a project to expand. Be responsible for growing an established movement. Love Bomb is one of these movements, and there are others. Operation Beautiful is one that we will be partnering with for next week's Love Bomb Mission. There are plenty.

If you want to help grow Love Bomb, comment or shoot me an email (laurennicolelove@gmail.com). There are easy, easy ways to go one step further and drastically expand the reach of our Love Bombs within minutes. I am more than happy to give you the suggestions and tools.

Please, don't be passive. When something tugs at your heartstrings, re-blog it. Re-tweet it. Share the fan page on Facebook with your friends. Forward an email. Tell someone. 2010 has made it easy for you.

I love you all - thank you again, Love Bomb team, for all that you've done.

+ join the love bomb team. NOW. +

Alright, everyone. The time has come.

For the last several months I have been (somewhat) holding my tongue about a new project I am very, very excited to be a part of. And I want ALL of you guys to participate.

I have been working with Nate at ItStartsWith.Us on the Love Bomb project, and this week is the big release. The concept is simple. We change the lives of those desperately needing hope, love, care, & encouragement - together, once a week, for five minutes.

We are all busy, I know this. But the next time someone asks you what you're doing with your life, I bet your answer isn't "cleaning up," "going grocery shopping" or "sitting at a desk." I know that all of you want something More.

A homeless man asked me a couple days ago what my life objective was, and without hesitation I replied, "to love people." It's taken me a long time to get here. To the place where that is my default answer, where it comes naturally. Yes I want to get married, yes I want to live where I want to live, there are activities and careers that I dream about. But what do I want to do with my life? Love people.

And it's a genuine fight to fit what you're doing with your life into your daily routine.

This is why I'm pouring a good chunk of every day into Love Bomb, and why I am the new Team Leader for the project. I want to help you fit what you truly care about into your daily or weekly routine. So please, put your name and email into the little box below, and every week when you get the email linking you to someone who desperately needs to be reminded that that love is real, take 5 minutes to do something about it. I want to see all of you grow into the place where you are content to simply respond, "I want to love people" when you are asked what you're doing with your life.

Come on guys, you are bloggers. This is what we do. We comment to show our love.

website | @dropalovebomb

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And welcome to the Love Bomb Team. :)

- lauren xoxo
@laurenlankford

+ beautiful things. +

The value of myth is that it takes all the things we know and restores them to the rich significance which has been hidden by the ‘veil of familiarity.’ [cs lewis]

- - -

ps. i widened my blog by 60px. let me know if you have trouble viewing, or if the layout seems off on your computer. :)

pps. i made a little drawing!

+ love and war +

Have any of you heard of this book yet? John and Staci Eldredge wrote it together, and if I blog about this, I get a free copy of the book. ;) I love them. Captivating was an incredible, incredible book.

Some of you may or may not know that I've been living pretty much in some alternate universe for the last 6-9 months, and it's been just about the most difficult blip of my life to date. Depression, hospital/doctor visits weekly, and being someone that clearly was not myself. I thought I knew what depression was until this past season. Hating life & everything about it, not wanting to get out of bed (ever), crying for no reason, wild mood swings, pills that turn you into a zombie, being intensely angry, and having the general attitude of "fuck everything" - I am remembering this and hoping that I will never again land in that place.

A couple weeks ago, I lost it and screamed at God for over an hour, and that weekend went through some intense prayer and realized I had unknowingly made the decision to just give up. Stopped believing that God wants what is best, and that God was a Daddy who loved me like a Daddy should...Sorry for all the religious-speak, but I'd done something I always swore I wouldn't do: let religion get between me and God. When this happens, you "deserve" an easy life for being such a great person, and for "giving things up" for God. When this happens, and life is still a bitch, you start blaming God. And guess what! It's pretty damn hard to love someone or let yourself be loved by someone that you think is screwing you over on a daily basis! ANYWAY.

Thankfully, my darling friend Kelly recommended the book "Awakening the Dead" by John Eldredge, and I started reading it a couple days ago. EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. Man, if you're flat out confused about God or what the hell is going wrong with the world, you should read this book. It's not long, and it's easy, easy language. Please read it if you get the chance.

Here's to starting over, for the hundredth time, and still being perfectly loved.

PS. I always think that I "know" what life will be like as a Christian, and I choose to pursue that or something else. The truth is, I don't know, at ALL, and I am guilty of limiting what Christianity means. I've decided it's boring, because of those limits. It isn't boring. It's more adventurous. And way more fun. Yeah, FUN.

+ growing up, part 428 +

As frequently as I forget that we change as we grow, I am reminded. A while ago, I began noticing there were more than a few things I didn't like, simply because I'd never liked them as a child. I began experimenting with flipping the switch in my brain that was marked "I don't like this," and tried to honestly reappraise my likes and dislikes. A good number of these things, I love now. So, I have a rough rule for myself: if you haven't tried it in the last year, you don't know if you like it or not. Or, do you love it this year, yet??

Guess who loves asparagus now? And heels? Goat cheese ice cream, the color pink, chocolate milkshakes, dresses, sushi, tumblr, and forever on.

I had a shocking new love that was realized over the weekend. Rain.

I've always been a strict direct-sunlight-in-extreme-heat person, and despised everything from a slight chill to the heart of winter. Clouds, rain, snow, hail, wind, low temperatures...not for me. Sunshine and heat? Instantly happy. But something happened on Saturday morning, and the pitterpatter of the rain hitting the rooftops woven perfectly in with the splashing of tires racing on the wet pavement sounded like starting over. New and fresh, but somehow settling and comforting. It took me 22 years to get here, and I now love rain.















Forgive me for the awkward mashup of images. These are all the things I love today.

it is in our fantasies that we see our realities in all their truth.