Friday, August 20, 2010
there is an ache that never goes away. never ever.
i used to think this was you refusing to heal me, refusing to comfort me.
refusing to be the god that i need you to be.
proof that you are not the god you say you are.
but now i see that it exists to bring me to you, in desperation.
because you knew how human i was. and am.
you knew that if you comforted me the way i asked, i would never come back to you.
thank you for the pain.
for having enough compassion on me to allow me to have my heart ripped apart so that i would be able to seek you and run to you.
not because i wanted you, but because i need you.