Saturday, February 28, 2009

+ today is good because... +

+ i slept in for the first time in two weeks.

+ deuteronomy changed me in a matter of twenty minutes.

+ i had an amazing breakfast with asa and eric.

+ i found all 50 states in a word puzzle.

+ its not snowing, raining, or any other form of precipitation.

+ i'm hanging out - and talking, really talking - with my brudder. :)

+ i get to experiment with my new speedlite.

+ grandview gallery hop tonight / girls night with katie.

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thank god for best friends.

- - -

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." - Anne Morriss

- - -

my hands are tied by miles. [ gbt ]

- - -

"but if, from there, you seek the lord your god, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. for the lord your god is a merciful god; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant of love with your forefathers. " deut. 4.29-31

"you were shown all these things so that you might know that the lord is god; besides him there is no other." deut. 4:35

"the lord your god has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his daughter, his chosen possession. know therefore that the lord your god is god; he is the faithful god, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." deut. 7: 6 & 9

"he brought you water out of hard rock. he gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your father has never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you." deut. 8:16

Friday, February 27, 2009

+ why i haven't existed in the blog world for awhile +

[ 1 ] I’ve had both moral and organizational issues with blogging over the last 12 -18 months. Explanation: I used to keep an array of different sorts of physical journals, as well as a couple blogs for different topics, the notes on Facebook, blogs on Myspace, and various other methods of getmyselfoutthere. It stressed me out. In an attempt to simplify my life and force my internal self to adhere to a single outlook on life (that second part right there was the moral part), I over-corrected and for the past year have only written in one solitary journal. This has helped my multiple personalities greatly, but has resulted in a tragic loss of motivation to write. Consequently, I have paid an enormous price in lack of inspiration (I despise that word, but unfortunately it fits) to paint, as writing is the predecessor for any of my art worth mentioning.

That being said…

a) I feel much better. Better = sorted out, justified, at peace with myself.
b) This blog will not be dedicated to my “smart thoughts”, my “deep thoughts,” my rants, my daily what-I-did-today thoughts, or any one particular thing. I am a person and I talk about different things different days.

[ 2 ] Blogging creeps me out. I feel like I’m talking to no one, semi-hoping and semi-dreading that someone somewhere will read this, meanwhile never knowing if anyone anywhere does. I envision myself talking to a wall. Lame. Yep, I said it. In fact, I feel like it's admitting that I talk to a wall because I have nothing better to do. I also always think Mr. Internet Surfer will stumble across a blog and think, “Why is she bothering telling anybody this? Does she think anybody cares? Get off the computer and get a life.” But, then I realize I read other peoples stuff, and I care. So, maybe you are reading it, and maybe you care.

That being said…

a) I feel much better. Better = released from the stereotyped blogger, less creeped out.
b) This blog is for me, not for you. But you can still read it :]
c) I do have better things to do, but I choose to write, because "better things" are painting, understanding a love bigger than myself, having the time of my life, and learning more about me. And writing is how I do those better things.